Chanukah Break

Naah, just lazy. Enjoy some visuals until I can move again after eating a bucket o’ latkes.






Don’t Ask, Definitely Tell

And now another General is on the block for inappropriate behavior! And an FBI agent has been removed from the case for inappropriate behavior! Wow. Perhaps there are some lessons we can learn (so far) from L’Affaire Petraeus:

1. Ban the Straights. Anarchy clearly ensues when you allow heterosexuals to serve openly in the military. Total breakdown in unit cohesion and chain of command. National security requires it!

2. Never have an illicit affair with someone who has less to lose than you do. Famous and powerful people must secretly shtupp other famous and powerful people. Otherwise, prepare to be outed. Not if, but when.

3. At some point in your illicit relationship, your Other Woman will start arrogating powers to herself usually reserved for The Wife. Jealousy over other, Other Women. Demands on your time. Required oaths of fealty. Believe it. You will simply end up with two wives. Consider NOW whether that’s a bargain.

4. Don’t send shirtless pics of yourself to women! Yes, I’m sure YOU would like women to send shirtless pics of themselves to you, but the seksi doesn’t work the other way around, big fella. Keep your shirt on, keep your job.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments, when you’re done sending naughty pics to Afghanistan.





LOLz because I’m Lazy



Richly Deserved Rebuff

I said it many times in these pages and I’d like to say it again while nursing the muscle I pulled from patting myself on the back. Mitt Romney was a terrible candidate who ran a terrible campaign.

No one–except a former President–is entitled to say s/he is qualified to be President.That job is too big, too scary, too unique to honestly be compared to, say, CEOing a Home Depot or being Governor of Whatzitstate. Therefore, the only significant metric we can use, IMHO, to determine if this person has the stones for the job is how s/he runs the campaign.

I soured on Hillary in 2008 because I despised her obsequious, self-serving pollster, her disorganization, her struggles with Billy (ma boo) Clinton saying dumb things she had to spend 3 news cycles unsaying, and the racial dog whistles that erupted when her poll numbers were down with, how shall we say, “rural hardworking Americans.” From those 4 things I could see a disastrous presidency in the making–because if this is the team you put together and this is how they execute? No friggin thank you.

Fast forward to W. Mitt Romney. I…just…can’t. I mean, I just don’t know where to begin. Constantly shifting strategy? Constantly shifting policy positions? Constantly fact-checked bald-faced lies? A campaign-wide lack of shame for same (“our campaign is not going to be determined by fact-checkers.)? Tone-deaf utterances like “nothing has ever been handed to me” and “the 47%”? An inability and/or unwillingness to loudly and decisively cut ties with both the Rape-ublican candidates and notorious birther racist Donald Trump? A massive campaign staff FAIL as multiple photos hit the intertubes of supporters at Romney rallies wearing racist anti-Obama t-shirts? (Note: one sucky low level campaign job is to go offer those people a Romney Ryan shirt they can wear Right Now!) And this, from a committed Romney volunteer, detailing that absolute clusterfuckery of the GOTV effort:

I could go on, but you get the picture. A man running on his record as a competent businessman assembles, retains and refuses to fire the most incompetent bunch of staffers since Dukakis ’88. And then doubles down by proceeding to speak incompetently, rashly and often untruthfully on all manner of topics from Snooki to Benghazi. All of which cake is iced by the campaign’s shock at the profoundly punishing election results they received on Tuesday night. When I read today that “no one in the campaign believed” Romney would lose, my jaw just dropped and my previous attacks were confirmed: this had to have been the most inept campaign in modern electoral history. In 2012, as a campaign, your ONLY job is to KNOW how your candidate is going to do. Not what you feel. Not what Karl Rove told you. Not what Sheldon Adelson wants to hear. You make decisions based on data. Evidence. Quantitative research. Boots on the ground. These are basics, both in business AND politics. Basics for which Romney richly deserved Tuesday night’s summary dismissal.

In the Tank

How the Romney campaign was in touch with Fox News as they called Ohio for Obama.

Can we officially stop considering Fix a news organization? When the chief pundit funded the Romney campaign to the tune of $30 million? And took their calls and carried water for them on the air in an attempt to sow confusion about the election?

I’m getting dumber even talking about this.

The Morning After

Let the blame game begin! This election was Obama’s to lose. Incumbents don’t often get re-elected with unemployment numbers like this. So how on earth did Obama spank Mitt Romney so hard?

I’ll say it again:

1. Deplorable candidates: Mitt Romney was a disaster. Mendacious, truculent, clueless. Paul Ryan was even worse. Bet he’s wishing he never hitched his wagon to that sinking ship.

2. The lying! The Romney campaign has the dubious honor of being the lyingest campaign in modern history. You know the ads of which I speak. You know the double talk of which I speak. An ignominious new low in American politics.

3. The voter suppression. I wager that, had the GOP Secretaries of State in FL, OH and PA not attempted such obvious voter suppression, a lot of “those” voters would have stayed home, potentially swinging the election to Romney. But these undemocratic attempts to disenfranchise American citizens actually energized the base and got them up and out. The trending hash tag on Twitter was #stayinline. People by the thousands waited for 6, 7, 8 hours to vote. Specifically because they knew certain powers were hoping they wouldn’t. The entire situation is a national disgrace. There are people in third-world countries who don’t wait 8 hours to vote. But here in 2012 America this is a reality. Unacceptable and shameful. Jon Husted in Ohio in particular ought to go down in history in infamy. May he never escape the stain on his reputation as a result of his efforts to disenfranchise American citizens. Disgusting.

4. The Tea Party. When your party is more comfortable talking about how rape is awesome than about the economy, you know it is time for a radical realignment.

5. Big Money. This isn’t why Romney lost, but I’m not going to miss an opportunity to deliver a gigantic F You to Sheldon Adelson. $20 million to Romney. Wasted. VA Senate. Lost. FL Senate. Lost. Allen West in FL. Lost. Millions to insane Rabbi Shmuley in NJ. Lost. Sheldon, you can take your billions and shove them up your ass. The people have spoken.

And so it goes. Lets do this again in 2016!